How To Avoid Resentment
There are many times in our lives when we feel frustrated, angry, and let down. Yet, when you focus on those feelings, it's really resentment that we are experiencing. We resent co-workers, family members, boyfriends, girlfriends - the list goes on. So, why do we resent?
Resentment is an interesting "trigger." It shows up to let us know we are giving too much of ourselves while getting very little in return. The scale is unbalanced, and we are running on empty. Think of yourself as a giant beautiful Harry Potter goblet filled with so much excellent stuff that it's bubbling over as overflowing - like the picture used to represent The Ace of Cups in a Tarot Deck.
Remember, you're the chalice/goblet. That entire "overflow" is what you give others. It's your love, your support, your caring, your kindness, your time, and your generosity. You have all this stuff to give, so when someone asks for help or suggestions, you don't mind helping them – even if they don't take your advice. It's okay; you have plenty of overflow to give.
Then there are times when we have no overflow. We barely have enough "stuff" for ourselves; however, people still ask, and, being the loving, caring people we are, we let them take what little we have left – call it our reserve, our private stock, our sacred stuff, they take it.
Now, when someone asks for help or suggestions and doesn't take your advice, it's not okay! The frustration turns to anger. Anger turns to resentment. Resentment is the trigger that lets you stop giving away so much and start taking care of yourself.
So, how can we get back to that place of overflow? Here are five suggestions to help you feel whole again. You can do just one or do them all – whichever makes you feel comfortable.
Nature: Sit in nature for 20 minutes once a week. Be it by the sea, in the woods, in a field, or the desert, it doesn't matter – wherever you feel a sense of peace. Once there, listen to the silence and be at peace. No cell phones, no thinking about grocery lists, no thought – just listen to the inner silence.
Children: The unconditional love and laughter of babies and small children can be infectious. Being around them can lift your spirit and fill your heart.
Animals and Pets: Animals give us their unconditional love. While it may be hard to take the fish out for a walk on little leashes, find time to play with animals and pets. Let them bring out your inner child.
Music: Yes, listening to music can heal and cheer the soul. And it doesn't mean listening to New Age "airy-fairy" stuff either unless you want to. Whatever makes your soul sing – from Ariana Grande, Queen, Imagine Dragons, Cardi B to BTS, Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars to Maroon 5, Lawrence Welk or Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture – it doesn't matter. Just listen, dance like no one's watching (if you'd like), and fill your heart and soul.
Silence of The Heart: Perhaps the most straightforward and most accessible of all – sit quietly, place your hand over your heart and listen to the silence. Feel your heartbeat. Experience each breath. Relax. Slow down. Many times when people pray, they hold their hands together and lean their thumbs on their chest. There is a reason for this. It makes us feel safe. Placing your hand over your heart completes "the circuit" and makes us feel whole.
So, the next time you feel resentment setting in – replenish your "overflow." It's as easy as stop, look, listen and be kind to yourself.
